“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” Tennessee Williams (Playwrite)
Do you get to choose your parents? Of course not. Do you choose your husband? Well, let's just say it was probably your hormones that chose him, and years later you may be wondering, "What was I thinking!?" How about your children? Nope, sorry, God sends you what you deserve - it's called pay back time.
But friends! Here, we get to choose. So is it any wonder that these relationships can be some of the most rewarding of all?
With your friends, you can share things that you wouldn't dream of sharing with your parents, spouse, or children.
I think there is a reason "relationship" books and movies are so popular. We need them, they feed our soul. Sex in the City didn't make it as huge as is it did, because of the sex part of that title -- well, maybe a little. It was the relationship between the women that really made the show what it was. Through fights, boyfriends, babies -- they were there for each other. No topic was off limit as they sat in their favorite coffee shop every morning. And we loved to listen in to their wacky conversations.
Not long ago, I realized, something was missing from my life. Once I became a mother, I had little time for anything else in my life, and that sadly included time to spend with friends. My days were devoted to my kids. My nights to my novels. What ever time I had left went to my family and husband. Pretty close to perfect, I thought, so I couldn't understand why I felt I needed more. Couldn't even pinpoint what that more could be. Until I just happened to attend a woman's group one day as a way to meet Latina women and introduce them to my books. This group was so wonderfully alive and eclectic that I wanted to see them again and again. Then it hit me that I rarely made time to see my friends anymore, and it was them I was missing.
Today, I still cringe when someone suggests doing something on a weeknight, because it's when I work. But, occasionally, I'll put everything aside to spend time with friends, and I'm always glad I did. I also devote Friday nights to seeing friends, going to book clubs, and basically spending time with women who mean something special to me.
I don't know if it's like this for you, but every group of friends brings something different and important into your life. My writing friends understand why I'd want to spend hours alone creating characters that only exist in my mind. My friends who home school don't think I'm insane to give up my career, my money, and all my free time to educate my own kids. Friends from my childhood share a part of my past that we return to when we get together. And so on.
So, this blog is a huge thank you to all my friends. I wouldn't be who I am without you! I cherish what you all bring to my life and hope I somehow bring something to yours.
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one” C.S. Lewis (novelist)
Enjoy your weekend AND your friends!
Julia
I think friends are our lifeline and without them, we would struggle so much more through the other trials in our lives. As important as it is to make time for our spouses and children, it is equally important to devote time and energy to our friends. It's an investment with a great return.
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